cool. so i still contacted her. when we were debating whether or not to talk on the phone, im struggling. saying no would kill me, but i realised saying yes is just prolonging my agony. so i made my decision. i kept silent throughout almost the whole conversation. my heart ached when she said she wanted to sleep and i said ok. but, do i have a choice? no.

let this be the last time i would ever contact her. thats what i said everytime, and failed to do it. but this time round, im sure of it. she go her life, her boy, her dreams. besides, its me who failed to cherish her isnt. ha. ironical. letting her go only to be at my knees pleading her to stay later on. cool.

i cant say this to her, so, let me type it here. to feel better. imy imy imy imy . ha. fuck everything thats going on my mind now.

so, i went down to slack today! like finally. ha! but still, my fatigue got over me and i decided to go home. romantic love story dont happen only in drama. it happens in real life too, the only difference being no matter what, the male and female lead wont have a change of mind. the female lead will wait no matter what. whereas in real life, people will change. so, not everyone is there whenever we know we`re wrong. agree? i know you do. ha.

i`d dream of you, saying yes to me. i`d get butterflies in my stomach whenever you called me. i`d be over the moon whenever you messaged me. but you would get these feeling only when he contacted you. it would never be me. and i know it. so, lets give it a break. i`d pretend i never found you.

wx`s still in hospital, and my guilt is accumulating everyday, everynight. bro, get well soon alright? i`ve been praying for your recovery everynight. get well real soon alright? promise me you would.

Labels: no one controls fate