woo. its so god damn late now, and im awake. alot of things is rushing through my mind now. i used to think, so what if she like him? so what if its impossible between us? i just hope to message her, talk on the phone with her almost everynight.


but this mindset changed when i watched a show recently. the female lead, who is diagnosed with a incurable disease, died shortly after she got together with the male lead. two years after their break up, which is due to her passing away (obviously) the female lead`s parents went to find him(the male lead. he said something that set my tears dropping. when her,(the female lead) parents is about to go off, he said "uncle, auntie. sometimes, i wanted so badly to hear her voice." but he knew its impossible. boys and girls, this show is based on a real life story.

than it set me thinking. if this guy, could get over the pain of not contacting the person he loved, why cant i? its 4 am now, and four hours ago, when its 12 am pls, i hinted her i dont want her to call. reason being, tonight will be the night i brace myself up. to NOT contact her ANYMORE. i decided to cease contact with her not because im in love with another person or whatsoever. its because i loved her too much, its starting to hurt me. so,..

i don expect her to read this, and i don expect any sympathy from any of you. i said all this because i just needed a place to vent my feeling.

i wont have a chance to say this to her in this life, but this is something i would not stop doing for the rest of my life. girl, ily.

Labels: girl of my life